Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Another State Of Mind

Every once in a while -- if you're lucky enough and willing -- you cross path with something that will change your perception so dramatically, in a way where you completely forget how you perceived things before it. It can be through a movie, a book, music, a painting, anything. It will come through in sense, in smell and in taste ever so lightly. It will feel familiar and unknown at the same time. It will puzzle you like a déjà vu. The term "déjà vu" describes it well. Only it will feel much stronger and after it, you'll no longer be the person you were before. That person will seem like a shadow, an empty husk to you now.

The best way for me to describe it to you is to compare it with a dream. It will feel like a dream, in fact you'll think you're dreaming. Everything around you seems vague and odd, but you'll accept it. Imagine walking around on the streets in a big city in the middle of the day were cars and people should be all around you, but there are no cars, no people. All there is are the deserted streets you walk, every house and store is empty -- you're completely alone. The mere idea is preposterous, but you accept it and you like it.

This déjà vu like feeling may sound intimidating to the uninitiated, but fear not, at worst you'll be left puzzled and mystified for a period of time until you either solve it, dwell in it or brush it off.

I choose to dwell in it. I want to experience it to it's fullest, and I fear that by solving what it is it might go away. I've learn how to trigger it through certain books and songs. Though I may not experience it every day, I know it's there right behind me. Days, months, years can pass by without seeing it and then one day I turn around and there it is again, starring into my eyes -- into my soul. It creeps up on you slowly, and then you suddenly realize you're in this state of mind again.

Embrace it. Love it. I know I do. Whatever it is...

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