Saturday, July 30, 2005


Am I alone? I feel alone...

The world today is not an easy place for dreamers, believe me. I don't know about you, but being the silly dreamer that I am, I feel very lost in this frantic age. It's hard not to give in, follow the path that lays so straight on a head. I don't want to go straight, dammit! I want to take curves, loops, take wildcards, go nowhere!
I can't possibly be the only one; the only one left, it would be absurd to think like that, but sometimes I can't help it,everyone around me seems to be on that straight path.

Whatever happened to spontaneity? Whatever happened to "having dreams"? Whatever happened to following them? What happened to love?

I think the majority of people when reaching a certain age lose that part of them, the dreaming part, maybe that's what "growing up" is. I don't know, it hasn't happened to me... yet. And that's my greatest fear, I suppose. Losing that part; face reality.

I'm tired. I'm tired of it all. All I want is pease, time and love. Is that so much to ask for? I guess it is. But I don't care, I want it anyway.

Friday, July 29, 2005


Sitting here in my lovely chair, the fairy in my hand and music in the air , everything seems so fucking idyllic. Maybe it's just the my green friend talking.

I found a house. I want that house. It's cheap! It's falling apart, but it's cheap! I've been looking at that house for months, and now it's for sell. It's right smack down in the center of the city, but still very peaceful - well, it's right next to an old church and grave yard, which is another reason why I like it. Looking at it from the outside can really mess with your sense of balance, let's just say it's very uneven. It was built in 1877, which would explain it's state. I don't mind, it's state is what I find so appealing.

Dreams. Nothing, but silly dreams so far... but, who knows...

Took a picture:

I'm not drunk.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

"One Day There Was A Tree."

"What happened here? What's this I feel? A tree? But how; why?" Never had he heard of such a thing being possible, and certainly never thought it'd occur to him of all people.
It's the big things that's trivial, and the little things that's unique.
On top of the tree was a flower, the only flower on the tree. It had the darkest purple color you've ever seen, in fact, such a color never existed before this flower sprung out on top of the tree.
You don't know what you have before it's gone, and by then, it's too late.
He had gone to bed the night before like he always did, nothing was different from any other night, except for the waking in the morning finding a tree.
The man didn't know what to do...
His life was a mess before the "event" occurred; his wife had just left him, they'd been married for less then a year. He lost his job too. Everything was crumbling beneath him, and he did nothing to stop it. There wasn't anything to do. He started drinking.
The busy bee has no time for sorrows.
Suddenly the tree started to grow even larger. He could feel it's roots hugging his brain; a feeling unlike any other. Leaves turned brown and feel off. Soon all the leaves were gone. Nothing, but the flower un the top was left.
Two hours later he was found dead. The tree sawed off at the root; at his scalp.

Friday, July 22, 2005

"Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?"

There's this girl that started working were I work. I can't say why, but I love her. I know nothing about her, absolutely nothing, I'm not even sure what her name is. I get these feelings about certain people I meet, an enhanced first impression sort of thing; a sixth sense if you will, nine out of ten times the impretion is correct.
I love her.
I've talked to her, a little, just small comments, nothing special. What I'd really like to tell her is, "Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?", but it seems too strange a thing to do, she'd think I was mad - I am, but that's another subject.
I wished she'd work with me. You see I stand at a machine with another guy which I'm learning to operate the thing, she stands at an entirely different machine down in the other end of the hall. And she's not employded, she's just working as a "substitute worker" - she doesn't look like someone who'd work there either, which, I guess, is one of the reasons why I like her. Technically she could be gone on monday. I hope my boss will place her down with me and my machine, or atleast the machine next to mine, then I can talk to her without it being too out of place, just long enough to get to know her.
It's not that I love her in a "please be the mother of my child" kinda way - not that I want chirldren, certainly not now - but she's just my kind of person, but how I know nothing about her, she could be - God forbid - religious. The fact is I don't know, I just know I love her.
She's so cute, it's unnormal.
Strange... now I can't wait to go to work, something I thought would never happen...
"Hello. I love you..."