Silent Hill Heaven #2

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"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. "

"Nature Boy"

The mood in this song is immense. It continues to surprise me every time I listen to it, especially Miles Davis' version.



There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy
And sad of eye
But very wise
Was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things, fools and kings
This he said to me
"The greatest thing
You'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return"

"The greatest thing
You'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return"

Whisky & Beer Are For Fools

"Whiskey and beer are for fools; absinthe for poets;
absinthe has the power of the magicians; it can wipe out
or renew the past, and annul or foretell the future."

- Ernest Dowson

A Black Nothing

I find myself in an increasingly state of indifference, everyday this rat race called "life" becomes more and more pointless. My old goals and dreams have been replaced with a constant all consuming worry about paying bills and juggling finances. An evil spiral I've tried so hard to not fall into, but the more I seem to fight it, the more it just comes back twice as hard; every time I think I've won a round and can relax, a new one sucker punches me in the back.

I can't focus on what I love to do, which is making music and playing music, with all these endless battles going on. I can't keep track of my goals and dreams either; don't even know what they are anymore; actually beginning to doubt I've ever had any.

This is not how I thought my life would be at age 23, but again I've forgot were I thought I'd be at this point.

The only thing that prevents me from closing the book is that tiny glimpse of light, that hopefully soon will come my way. At least I've been trying to convince myself of that for years. Does that make me a fool?
------------

I found a picture file on my old computer. Didn't exactly help in cheering me up.

Old Crayon Drawings

Not sure how old these are, but I know I made them when I lived with my parents, so maybe 6 or 7 years.

They're pretty creepy...


Entitled: "Face (Pain)"
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Entitled: "The Faceless"
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Entitled: "Face (Torment)"
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Entitled: "Face (Phantom)"

Roskilde Festival

My favourite place in the world; my favourite time of the year is those 8-9 days of camping on the Roskilde Festival. Where days and nights are filled to the brim with good music, happy free minded people & booze in excess. A utopia where 80.000 people get along.



I used to hate the idea of festivals: being dirty from all the dust or mud? Sleep in tents? All those people? Fuck no! But boy oh boy was I wrong. I first went in 2006 with my brother, I had decided to ignore how much I hated festivals because Tool was headlining. I was a HUGE fan of them and there was no chance in hell that I would miss seeing them. Oh yeah, and Roger Waters was the closing name.

We got there on a Thursday, the festival opened the previous Sunday, and we were both knocked over by the size of the festival. Tent after tent after tent and all those people. We spend more then an hour walking around the camping site looking for a spot for our tent, the festival was sold out, so it wasn't easy to find one. The next four days were an epiphany to me, this place was none less then a heaven on earth for me. There was music and the kindest most helpful beautiful people I've ever met. People really throw away whatever facade they normally have and show who they really are. They take so good care of each other, even though they're complete strangers, that continues to amaze me.



The music is the main part of the festival with more then 160 performances covering every genre and sub genre out there. Everything from the radio hit band to the deepest darkest underground, the possibilities to discover new bands and for new bands to break through is enormous. It's clear to see that the bookers takes some risks with some of their bookings, and I love them for doing that. I've had some of my best concert experiences on that festival. A big reason for this is again the fact that no matter how drunk or stoned everyone is, they're still friendly and considerate.



I've gone to the Roskilde Festival every year since 2006, I can't imagine how horrible it would be to stay at home knowing what I'm missing; I'm a Roskilde junkie now - I need my yearly shot.

86 days to go...